Don't worry too much. It happens to a lot of people.

I didn't post this to my FB page like I wanted to and like I should have. Why? Because I knew that everyone that should learn something from it would probably just stop listening once they felt accused - for all the reasons discussed in the video. They would feel I was probably pointing the video right at them. Guess what? I am. Guess what else? It's not said with the venom and misconceptions you think it is.  

Bigotry is a natural consequence of transition, of growth and progress. Not everyone can change their minds at the same pace, not everyone should. Not everyone that is a bigot is a bigot because they are hateful or spiteful, shallow or stupid. Sure there is plenty of that out there too, but I don't think that everyone that condemns homosexuality as immoral is a hateful person. Some people are bigots for all the 'right' reasons. They are trying to do the right thing. They are given a paradigm about love and righteousness. It can be instilled and reinforced in a myriad of ways. It happened with racism (which still exists but know you can count on it occurring mostly in the hateful people that I'm NOT talking about here).

I don't condone any mindset that promotes intolerance of people based on who they are but we can't hope to change it if we don't fact facts about what it is. It's not a group of slur spewing, red-faced, rage addicts that are getting in the way of progress. It's sweet mothers and loving fathers. It's the majority of voters in CA and AZ and many other states. Minimizing and demonizing them won't give us any insight in to how to overcome the cultural obstacles we face. It is simply hard for some (again, for a myriad of complicated and personal reasons) to overcome their preconceptions and prejudices about the LBGT community, and the value of "traditional" marriage.

We are also fooling ourselves if we think they don't see gays as fully human and deserving of rights. They really can manage to see these as separate issues. In many cases they don't think that "gay" is real. As DE-humanizing as that is it doesn't sound like it to them. It's not like skin color, it's too easy to make it seem like a choice - no matter how much contradicting evidence they aren't listening to.

Change is hard. Not all change is progress. It's not monstrous to want things to be like you think they were when you were a kid and everything was comfortable and simple. It's not evil to have faith in an ideology that is still shared by a large majority of your fellow citizens. But in this case it IS bigotry. It's intolerance of other people for who they are, and for their differences. It IS bigotry and it is wrong and it's time for it to stop.

Please, if you watched that video and were tempted to dismiss the content, or had trouble concentrating on the words, because of the appearance of the speaker. Or, if you shutdown as soon as you felt like the the bigot label was getting smeared all over you, again. If you didn't give the video your full attention the first time. Please watch it again and really listen.

Thanks.

I'm going to post this on my FB page now...

The Bishop's letter

I got my letter from the Bishop confirming my request to have my name removed from the records of the church (my excommunication) is being processed. I was surprised to find it was a little difficult to read. Not because it was mean spirited in anyway. This Bishop is a man of admirable character. I have heard hard stories about spiteful and angry separations. Thankfully that is not how mine was at all.

I don’t think it was the consequences the letter warned of that made it difficult to read. I don’t believe in them anymore, but I still had a twinge of fear, and a sense of finality, and severity. It gave me a moment’s pause. As sure as I am and as clearly as I can see that I have made the right decision why should I still hesitate? How can there can still be that voice saying, “what if”?

I took a moment to indulge that voice. I thought about it and it didn’t take me long to determine exactly “what if”.

“If God exists, I hope he’s got a good excuse.” – Woody Allen.

I cannot endorse the cruel and vain God of the bible or the remade version of the modern apologetic. I refuse to support the discriminatory and ignorant doctrines that hinder social and scientific progress. I cannot accept an all loving being that wouldn’t do more to stop the horrors done in His name.

If I am wrong, and there is a God I will face him with the same defiance I feel now.  

I don’t think the pause I felt as I read the Bishops letter was a concern for my soul; it was concern for my situation. I don’t think that it was about leaving the faith, as much as it was leaving the church and its social group and support structure. There are good people, good friends that I will have a harder time maintaining friendships with. I hope this proves an unfounded concern but it seems to be the tendency. Mostly I think I feared the change – looking back at the charred ruins of a bridge I will never cross again.

Once I had indulged that fear, felt that last tie cut. I experienced something else: relief and freedom. I felt invigorated and inspired to make this life (the only one I’m going to get) extraordinary. There is real suffering in this world and I intend to do something about it - unshackled by ancient superstitions and religious obligations on my resources.

A personal note: For all of you that have been good friends to my wife during this time, I am truly grateful.